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ALCOHOLISM / DRUG ABUSE IN THE FAMILY

Drug abuse in your family?

Does someone in your family drink too much or have a drug problem?

Alcohol and other drug abuse (substance dependence) affects nearly every family in America, either directly or indirectly. Most of us know someone who (we suspect) has the disease or whose life has been touched by the pain and tragedy of a loved one’s alcoholism.

Perhaps you are concerned about someone close to you whose use of alcohol or other drugs seems excessive. Perhaps you have wished, time and again that you could do something to make him or her stop drinking or getting high. But no matter what you tried the addictive behavior continued.

You can get help

You don’t have to continue a life of anxiety, pain and turmoil dominated by an alcoholic or drug abuser. In fact, you have an obligation to take care of yourself. As you learn more about this problem, consider contacting your EAP, Hidalgo Health Associates, local crisis line, mental health center or community resource center. They will help you find the support and courage you need to make a new beginning.

Understanding substance dependence

One of the first steps in dealing with substance dependence is to understand the nature of the disease. It may involve a variety of mood changing chemicals. The most common is alcohol. Alcohol and other drug addictions are recognized by the American Medical Association as a lifetime diseases just as diabetes and cancer are diseases. It is a progressive disease; if left untreated it ends in death. While it can be arrested and controlled (through abstinence) it cannot be cured.

Keep in mind that victims of substance dependency rarely believe they are ill. As its symptoms increase, its victims become less and less capable of recognizing the severity of their problem. Recovery lies in their ability to admit that they have a problem, one that is slowly destroying them and those close to them.

How bad is bad enough?

As family members, we often hide what we know and feel. We are reluctant to face the problem of substance dependence, which we share with the afflicted family member, the addict. We want to believe the problem will go away on its own. Or, if the addict uses only on weekends, we want to believe that perhaps he or she is not addicted after all. Because we love the addict, we often make excuses and tell lies to “protect” him or her. But what we need is an addiction counselor, someone who can help us determine whether there is a problem and what we can do about it.

A family disease

Substance dependence is a family disease because problem drinking and other drug abuse affect not only the addict but also the mate, family, friends and employer. People who care are caught most deeply in the web of problem behavior.

Just as people with substance dependence develop unhealthy personality traits, so do their family members. They overreact to the addicted person’s behavior. First they try to control the use and then they try to prevent the person from drinking or using at all. They are ashamed of public scenes and try to cover up the private tragedies. Before long, they wrongly begin to feel they are to blame in some way and to take on the hurts, fears and guilt of the addict. They too have become spiritually and emotionally ill

Sooner or later, people close to the addict despair of ever being free. They cannot believe their lives will ever change. They have attempted both to deny and to eliminate the problem. But nothing has worked. Even the thought of escape – through separation, divorce or just moving out – seems to create problems too difficult to overcome.

The family has a choice

The family situation never gets better on its own and usually it gets worse. Fortunately, there is hope for both the alcoholic and other drug abuser and the afflicted family. Whether or not the addict accepts help, the family can learn to take care of itself.

It is not necessary for the family to wait for the alcoholic or addict to reach a crisis point and bottom out before seeking help. With professional guidance and the concern of others who have experienced the pains of substance dependence, families can find ongoing support and new direction.

For guidance through this difficult time, contact your EAP, local crisis line, mental health center or community resource center or:

Alcoholics Anonymous
http://www.alcoholics-anonymous.org/

Remember your Employee Assistance Program is:
• Confidential: All information is kept strictly between you and your counselor
• Informal: A simple phone call starts the process and there’s no red tape.

For assistance call Hidalgo Health Associates at:
800-448-4470