ALCOHOLISM
/ DRUG ABUSE IN THE FAMILY
Drug
abuse in your family?
Does someone in your family drink too much
or have a drug problem?
Alcohol and other drug abuse (substance dependence)
affects nearly every family in America, either directly or
indirectly. Most of us know someone who (we suspect) has the
disease or whose life has been touched by the pain and tragedy
of a loved one’s alcoholism.
Perhaps you are concerned about someone close
to you whose use of alcohol or other drugs seems excessive.
Perhaps you have wished, time and again that you could do
something to make him or her stop drinking or getting high.
But no matter what you tried the addictive behavior continued.
You
can get help
You don’t have to continue a life of
anxiety, pain and turmoil dominated by an alcoholic or drug
abuser. In fact, you have an obligation to take care of yourself.
As you learn more about this problem, consider contacting
your EAP, Hidalgo Health Associates, local crisis line, mental
health center or community resource center. They will help
you find the support and courage you need to make a new beginning.
Understanding
substance dependence
One of the first steps in dealing with substance
dependence is to understand the nature of the disease. It
may involve a variety of mood changing chemicals. The most
common is alcohol. Alcohol and other drug addictions are recognized
by the American Medical Association as a lifetime diseases
just as diabetes and cancer are diseases. It is a progressive
disease; if left untreated it ends in death. While it can
be arrested and controlled (through abstinence) it cannot
be cured.
Keep in mind that victims of substance dependency
rarely believe they are ill. As its symptoms increase, its
victims become less and less capable of recognizing the severity
of their problem. Recovery lies in their ability to admit
that they have a problem, one that is slowly destroying them
and those close to them.
How
bad is bad enough?
As family members, we often hide what we know
and feel. We are reluctant to face the problem of substance
dependence, which we share with the afflicted family member,
the addict. We want to believe the problem will go away on
its own. Or, if the addict uses only on weekends, we want
to believe that perhaps he or she is not addicted after all.
Because we love the addict, we often make excuses and tell
lies to “protect” him or her. But what we need
is an addiction counselor, someone who can help us determine
whether there is a problem and what we can do about it.
A
family disease
Substance dependence is a family disease because
problem drinking and other drug abuse affect not only the
addict but also the mate, family, friends and employer. People
who care are caught most deeply in the web of problem behavior.
Just as people with substance dependence develop
unhealthy personality traits, so do their family members.
They overreact to the addicted person’s behavior. First
they try to control the use and then they try to prevent the
person from drinking or using at all. They are ashamed of
public scenes and try to cover up the private tragedies. Before
long, they wrongly begin to feel they are to blame in some
way and to take on the hurts, fears and guilt of the addict.
They too have become spiritually and emotionally ill
Sooner or later, people close to the addict
despair of ever being free. They cannot believe their lives
will ever change. They have attempted both to deny and to
eliminate the problem. But nothing has worked. Even the thought
of escape – through separation, divorce or just moving
out – seems to create problems too difficult to overcome.
The
family has a choice
The family situation never gets better on
its own and usually it gets worse. Fortunately, there is hope
for both the alcoholic and other drug abuser and the afflicted
family. Whether or not the addict accepts help, the family
can learn to take care of itself.
It is not necessary for the family to wait
for the alcoholic or addict to reach a crisis point and bottom
out before seeking help. With professional guidance and the
concern of others who have experienced the pains of substance
dependence, families can find ongoing support and new direction.
For guidance through this difficult time,
contact your EAP, local crisis line, mental health center
or community resource center or:
Alcoholics Anonymous
http://www.alcoholics-anonymous.org/
Remember your Employee Assistance Program
is:
• Confidential: All information is kept strictly
between you and your counselor
• Informal: A simple phone call starts the
process and there’s no red tape.
For
assistance call Hidalgo Health Associates at:
800-448-4470
Used with permission © 1987, 1996 by Hazelden Foundation,
Revised 1996. All rights reserved. For more information about
the Hazelden Foundation please visit: http://www.hazelden.org
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