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FAMILY COMMUNICATIONS

Do you like what is being said in your family? Is anybody listening?

Your family’s communications are probably okay. Most family’s communications would rate in the healthy range. And if you’ve never had to think about it, that’s where your family would likely fall.

But perhaps you’ve thought, we’re not as close as we were before the kids got older. Or, There just doesn’t seem to be time to talk these days. Sometimes we harbor thoughts like, That makes me mad, but I don’t really want to talk about it and start a fight. So you decide to just forget it.

What makes good family communications?

Healthy communications (and thus healthy families) has three common qualities.

1. The open expression of feelings, even anger, fear, frustration
2. Understanding other’s needs and accepting their right to those needs
3. Courtesy and respect among family members

All families have conflicts. This is normal. Healthy conflict is not bad. But when conflicts arise, the ability to solve them openly and in a way that is acceptable to other family members says a lot about a family’s communications and it’s overall health. Relationships are “good” when you feel okay about saying what you feel when you feel it.

Do you like what you hear?

How does your family communicate? Do you like what is said and how it is said?

If not, and if you want to work on it, try getting your family together to express your concerns in a non-blaming way. Often, if problems have not been allowed to build over too long a time, your mutual respect, friendship, and love for one another will make self-help possible.

But families sometimes find it difficult to reach an understanding. Sometimes the desire for change is not mutual. A professional counselor may then be needed. Seeking and accepting professional help does not mean you are admitting failure. Your family’s communications can be as healthy as you want them to be. In addition, little problems become big ones if left unattended.

How can a professional counselor help?

• A counselor can help you and your family get some perspective on your problems. An outside observer’s impartial viewpoint goes a long way toward resolving family and marital conflict.
• A counselor can help you work through important issues. Disagreements are discussed from an objective viewpoint and are often settled.
• A counselor can teach you and your family the skills you need to help your family solve it’s own problems in the future. Such skills include how to listen carefully to each other, how to fight fair, and how to compromise and cooperate.

How do I know if I need professional help?

Your assistance program, local crisis line, mental health center or community resource center can help you decide what is best for you and your family. Help is available.

Remember your Employee Assistance Program is:
• Confidential: All information is kept strictly between you and your counselor
• Informal: A simple phone call starts the process and there’s no red tape.

For assistance call Hidalgo Health Associates at:
800-448-4470